Dear Professor Blackstone
I would like to take this
opportunity to formally introduce myself. My name is Serena Koay. I am
currently pursing a degree in civil engineering at Singapore Institute of Technology.
I graduated from Nanyang Polytechnic last year, with a diploma in engineering
with business.
During my course of study, I
realized that I am more inclined to systemic problem-solving methodologies
taught in engineering as compared to the various finance and economics related
theories taught in business. Thus, with this inclination as a form of
motivation, I decided to pursue a degree in engineering.
Upon graduation, I was uncertain as
to which field of engineering should I go into since I studied general
engineering in polytechnic. However, during my six months internship at Singapore
Technologies Engineering Ltd, the use computer-aided design software was
heavily utilized as I had to design commercial buildings using the software. Similarly, when a building is being
constructed, I had to go down to site and ensure that the design of the
building is the same. After internship, I found an interest in structure designing which led me to pursue a degree in civil engineering.
One of my strengths in communication
is being confident during public speaking. One of such experiences was during my
school award ceremony where I had to give a speech to the directors in my
school.
Apart from strength, I do have an
apparent communication weakness which is my writing skills. As compared to my
peers, I often find myself able to express myself better through verbal
communication compared to texts as I always find myself beating around the bush
when it comes to writing.
Throughout the module, I hope to strengthen
my grammar and vocabulary so as to enhance in my writing skill to be
more clear and concise.
Best regards
Serena
Revised on 22 Jan 2018
Comment: Colin, Roland,Jean
Revised on 22 Jan 2018
Comment: Colin, Roland,Jean
Dear Serena,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this fine introduction letter. In the letter, you provide all the details required in the assignment. I really appreciate how you have tied your discussion of your educational and internship background to your interest in 'designing of structure.' You also present your strength and weakness well. In terms of the weakness, you discuss a fairly common one: preciseness in writing. We will definitely work on many aspects of writing this term, as you have no doubt noticed.
Here are a couple minor problem areas also to take note of:
1) plurality
-- One of my strength >>>
-- One of such experience >>>
2) idiomatic expression
-- beating around the brush >>> beating around the bush
3) phrasing / word form
-- ...this will benefit myself in my writing skill to be more succinctly. >>> ?
I look forward to working with you this term.
Best wishes,
Brad
Thanks for the feedback.
DeleteHi Serena,
ReplyDeleteI liked the way you introduced yourself in the first paragraph well. Stating with the current area of study currently and in poly enabled me to understand more of your background.
I appreciate the effort you put in to express yourself and the flow of the paragraph to ultimately give you the reason to join civil engineering. The use of words is concise and easily understood.
I do feel that you have good writing skills although no one is perfect. One of my weakness I get anxious when I present in class or a large crowd. I look forward to working with you soon!
Your classmate,
Glen